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You'd think I'd talk about what this blog is going to be about, assuming it's about anything.  But since I only have my third blog because I had to register to comment, why be complicated.  I'd rather jump right into the meat of things! 

The following stories are stolen from the comments at another blog.  I make no assertations that any of this is true....they could be urban legends.

IDIOT SIGHTING:  Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a ½ horsepower. He shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded that ½ was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.” We haven’t used Sears repair since.

I've seen "technical" people that stupid.  (In fact, see the last one, below the fold.)  Whether or not they worked for Sears, I don't know.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.” From Kingman , KS

Yep, that's about par for the course. 

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE : My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef? Yep…From Kansas City!

That one is too easily a misunderstanding in accent and pronounciation. The real idiot is anyone who thinks a "chef" works at Taco Bell.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.” Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The real idiot is anyone who expects intelligence out of the TSA.

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

Yes, what are those blind people doing driving?  Inquiring minds want to know!   Intelligent minds want to know why the Houston Metro transportation system failed to install a similar system along the Main street rail line in Houston.  Yes, in fact, a train has hit a blind person because there is no such warning device.

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker: She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

I've worked at Texas Instruments, as a contract employee.  He probably said it on purpose, with malice aforethought.

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

Heard this one years ago, told as a "stupid tech support call story."  It had a better punch line then.  The high-level manager who had made the error asked the tech what the problem was.  Pissed, but knowing he couldn't afford to make the guy look stupid, the tech replied with a straight face: "Loop circuitry."

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “Its open!” His reply, “I know - I already got that side.” This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi !

Nope.  No way.  I don't believe it.  Nobody is dumb enough to buy a Ford! (Bada boomp!  I'm here til' tuesday, and don't forget to tip your waitress...

My contribution to the list:

Guy comes in to demand a meter test.  "My bill was too high last month!"  Ok, sir, so have you checked your plumbing? "Yes, I hired a plumber to come in."  What did he say?  "I don't have any leaks anywhere, but the water meter keeps running all the time!"

Hint: There is no such thing as a perpetual motion machine.

Posted by: ubu at 10:48 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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